just look at her, so small;only 4 1/2 months old-holding her own bottle. Days before, she was dependent upon her mother to provide her with nourishment. How I miss those breast feeding days. I have a dear friend that says you will know when you are done having babies when you see other peoples babies and not want one of your own. I'm looking at my own baby now and in this photograph;are you kidding me? NOT WANT MORE??? I realize that once they are mobile, children are a bit harder to raise, but man, this baby stage, why does it have to end? Children are a poor man's wealth and I am a VERY rich woman indeed!

The library, the library

So, I'm at the library cause our computer isn't working properly. It's peaceful. The only noise is the noise of the speedy typists in the room. It's kind of annoying. There's a kid playing games and he just keeps hitting the keys repetatively-it's noisy, but what do you do? Now there's a little girl out there screaming-talking loudly I should say-but I can guarantee the noise would be much worse at my house. That's the way it is I guess. now someone is banging the keyboard. complain complain complain. I'm just not inside of my own comfort zone I guess. I'll have to adapt. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get/find a good deal on a "homemade" computer, I mean I really hope I do. I called all the loan places today to find out the interest rates of our loans. Holy cow-some sure are high. With the sailors and soldiers leave act the interest rate goes down a great deal, that's nice. Aflac is paid for, and so is the health insurance-those are some bills I won't have to worry about so that'll be nice. I can't find anyone to work for me. Friday night. No one is cooperating. It's really a bummer........I might still go visit my friend, and then just leave at like 3. I could call in sick, but everyone knows that I need the night off, so probably not. The home show is this weekend, and we really enjoy that. Jerry will be gone though, so that won't be much fun without him. He's got guards for the weekend, and then on Sunday he flies out to Las Vegas for a weeks worth of school/training. I'm not sure what he'll be doing exactly-I told him to take some pictures for me. We'll have to see how that goes. I really want him to do that-I'll never get there, I'm sure. He's staying in a hotel on the strip. It should be interesting. We have to come up with the money to pay for it and then the guards reimburses us. Marie is going to help us as we haven't go the funds. Well, I need to go now. I'm going to use some coupons and get supper-should be delicous!!!!!~E

What is motivating the purchase of that laptop, I ask....

So for the past 3 days, my husband and I have been "fighting" over the reason that he needs a new laptop. He'd like to have a laptop for when he goes to Afghanistan, I get that. But I'm thinking that instead of spending a thousand dollars, perhaps we could spend half. NOPE!!! The laptop has to have a large screen for watching movies, and it must have a quick processor so that it has the capabilities to do such a thing. He won't say, my only motivation for getting the laptop is for movie watching. Instead, he pussy foots around and then I try to have a discussion with him, and then he gets all pissed, and says, "I don't know". Do you care if we get this laptop, or this one? I don't know. Do you care if it has the 17" screen? I don't know. I think now the final words were, fine if you d0n't want to get me that 17" screened laptop, then get the one you want to get me, I don't care! Really? All that I want to know is if the motivation for getting the bigger/better laptop is just to watch movies, then say that. We are also having issues with our PC and my latest argument against the laptop is that we won't be able to IM, or webcam, or any of that since our PC is a POS and wouldn't be "compatible". Sounds like he doesn't care, but deep down, I believe he does.....He's only been waiting for a laptop since November. Whatever!~E

Zane and his bottle~My very good friend one day said, he wants a bottle. I then said yeah, we stopped giving them to him. But after that chat, I decided to revisit the situation. He is after all just a baby, still~even at 13 mos. So I decided to let him be a baby still and have given in to his bottle need. Now I just hope when the time comes to actually give it up, he doesn't struggle horribly! But doesn't he just look so cute?~E(2nd post WOW)

Not much is happening here.......

So I don't blog much anymore, but it sure is nice to have this in case I need to vent. I'm into facebook, and doing stuff with that, I check my e-mails regularly, and besides those two things I don't do much communicating. But today, I just thought I'd surprise my friend and see if she checks to see if I posted anything. I'm not going to tell here what I've done. So my kids and I went to my friends house yesterday to spend the day with her. I wish my only "job" in life was to wait for school to get out, and then go visit her.....Oh what a blissful time it is when I go visit. I could have gotten some cds from her to listen to while on my drive home. Perhaps I need to get that portable cd player in the van, RIGHT now so next time I go see her, then on good faith, I can get cds from her. Talk radio is the best thing to listen to when you're tired but talk radio only reaches to certain corners of the world. Once you've driven past that corner, there is no more!:((( Boring boring boring music after that, and then the hope that you won't fall asleep. I've acutally done that before and almost got pretty hurt, but we were VERY lucky. Angels were watching over us. I have learned my lesson though, and pull over if I'm tired now, but my new fear is that the car behind us falls asleep and then violently slams into my pulled over vehicle. It could happen! See, with the cds, I told my friend, let my borrow them. I will listen to them because when I'm on the internet, I like to listen to something-not the radio, but talk radio. I usually then just end up listening to Dave Ramsey~which is very good listening~and in fact is something I'm doing at this exact moment. Now if only I'd had those cds. Oh well, next time. Only if she'll let me! I'm going to take a nap shortly. I dropped my daughter off at school. My son didn't go to school this morning because he was so tired from his big day at said friend's house. I felt kind of silly for not just making him go to school, but at the same time, it felt ok to let him stay him since he was so exhausted. However the exhaustion has not stopped him from pestering his siblings. Oh well. I don't suppose it ever will!!!:) I'm going to upload some pictures now and perhaps my friend will just fall out of her chair.....

V-day

Wow I just really am not good at this whole updating thing. Everyday my friend comes and visits and I'm never here.................It's Valentine's Day and my husband and I are going to a really nice steakhouse. I'm so excited. We don't have much time to get ready and I've asked my hubby to make the kids their supper. I better go help.~E

Zachary Turns 2!!!

These aren't in the correct order...but you get the idea! Enjoy~E.

Farewell Chloe

On Saturday, May 24, 2008 our dear beloved cat Chloe was hit by a car and killed instantly. She was with us for just under 2 years. Chloe was a good kitty, the love of my son. She slept with him every night and now no more. Good-bye Chloe, we'll miss you, but the memories will last forever!

She was always jumping up on the furniture to get up to our level so she could "talk" to us and tell us how she needed to get outside. She was quite talkative and it's pretty quiet around here now. What a nice kitty.~E

work, money, finances...

I'm contemplating seriously about getting another job. At this time it would be a real benefit for us financially. It would most likely be a job in the evening. I don't want for it to be many hours, just more than what I'm getting at my current job. Then I would have my current job be the 2nd job instead of the primary one. I'm not sure where I'd work. Retail, grocery, fast food. The job opportunities are out there, I just need to search them out. My husband is thankfully quite well physically and is able to work 2 jobs, but it's still not enough. Right now we are making payments to something for only another 8 weeks, and I hope those weeks fly by, but until then we are short that money. Wants are greater than needs. I wish I had a sponsor. Someone I could call who would be able to say to me all the things that have come up with due to this purchase. There is so much. And we never really learn, my husband and I. We are just not disciplined enough. Time will get us through this and things will be better. I'm VERY sure of it. Just right now, it's so hard and we are struggling through it.~E.

hey

So much like a diary, this is the hardest thing for me to keep up with. Life is good for me. I've been happily busy with my children. I don't work as much. My oldest is in Pre-K and he really seems to be enjoying it. Today was picture day. I only ordered one picture and then went to Wal*Mart and only got the package. It is such a great thing for me that I got the package. I NEVER do that. I usually always end up spending close to $100.00. It was great, and oh what a relief. Right now the kids are in bed, and dear hubby is probably sleeping downstairs in the chair. Last night we acquired a new kitten!! She's so cute and fluffy. We named her Smokey. We got her from a friend. Our other cat isn't too fond of her yet. She hisses at her everytime she comes near, and the dog thinks she's bigger than she is and so attacks her. Eeck!! Hopefully the cats will grow to like eachother.....And well, the dog will be just fine!! Life is good, I am blessed. Thank you Lord.~E.

goings on

So...I've been reading a little bit about organizing and am enjoying that. I do so want to have my house orderly. It's driving me CRAZY!! I'm having a home party in a couple of weeks, and I don't want my place to be a zoo, rushing around trying to get all organized. I am planning a rummage sale in the next several weeks. I hope it's a big hit and I make some money. I do have a lot of stuff. We went out the farm and brought home all my pandas. Man do I ever have a lot. Ughh!! It's just incredible. If my husband and I could ever figure out how we want to decorate our home, we could put some of my things and his to good use instead of being in a box serving no purpose. We are in the process of putting up a fence. I just need to get some information to the lady at City Hall. We also need to get our land surveyed so that we can know exactly where to place the fence. There are a few things that might potentially obstruct the position of the fence and so I'm hoping that we have a little more land than was originally thought. If our property is more to the east then we lose some and if it's more to the west then we gain some. I'm hoping for the latter....~E.

hi

Haven't
been here much, as there doesn't
seem to be too much to say......It's been along
time. I mowed the lawn
tonite. DH leaves for 2 week guard drill on
Friday. I figured I probably
should learn how to mow....lol. Anyway,
it was a chore, that I happily
did.
I took my good friends advice and just
decided to get it done.
I've
been
VERY busy cleaning my house. I
mopped last night moving
the
furniture and
sweeping around all of that.
That was a great
thing. It's
been along time
since I've deep cleaned like
that. I
want to go over it
all again. My MIL
helps a lot during this
process
as she either watches
the kids or does some
cleaning herself.
Tomorrow if it's really nice
outside, we are going to get
the garage
lined up so
we can have a
rummage sale in a month. I need to
write
it on the calendar
when we are
having it. But tomorrow we will spend
the better part of the
day moving
things around in the garage and
shed. I
REALLY need to get rid
of my
stuff. After this rummage sale,
I will have one
more closer to the
fall
and then I think I will
bring my stuff to the
salvation army or
goodwill. Goodwill doesn't turn
anyone away, and I think
the salvation
army does, so I'll have to see
where I'll take my goods. I
really want
to
get my stuff organized
and put together really neat like and
make
everything
look really
presentable so people will want to stop and shop
and buy buy
buy. It's
late and DH is ready to go to bed. TTFN
~E.

ettiquette

I don't know why it's taken me such a long time to post but I guess I've been busy. So the other day my mil took my kids out to lunch after a nice walk and playtime at the park. While they were there, a kid asked my mil if my son could have this toy. Now that's not such a big deal, but here's how she related the story to me and I quote "a black African American boy asked my mil if my son could have this toy." I was completely shocked. However, she did correct herself when she was going to say black. I've had to work with her on that one, but I just couldn't believe that she had to put that part in. So I asked my husband what he would have said in that same situation, because to me, there was NO point in stating that there was an African American there in the first place, I mean I don't think she'd say that a white kid or caucasion(did I spell that right?) kid asked if he could have this toy. So anyway back to my husband. I gave him the situation and I said, now if that were you, how would you relay the story back? And he said that he would have said some kid walked up to our son and asked if he'd like this toy. I would have said the same thing. I mean, really who cares if the kid was purple or blue or green or whatever. I would have said this kid.....~E.

It's the principal, I understand

So tonight, while I was up on my computer, my two older kids were down with their grandma. She was watching them and taking care of the baby at the same time. When there are 2 people home, the older kids have the run of the house for the most part because there is someone there to check on them to make sure they aren't getting into anything. Well, my daughter coughed on her grandma and grandma was telling her not to cough on her, but she was being so rude about it kind of. My daughter is 2 almost 3, and yes should know better and knows to cover her mouth, but sometimes a cough just comes up and there isn't time to cover your mouth. Anyway a little bit later, my daughter comes running upstairs screaming and crying trying to get away from her grandma. I intervene and am trying to figure out what's going on and grandma is yelling/crying at the same time. She isn't really crying at this point, but she' real close. Anyway, it turns out that my daughter had ripped a piece of mail. Well, I got the mail and so I knew that what she had ripped couldn't possibly have been that important-she got an envelope from some sweepstakes thing with all kinds of fliers in it. My daughter ripped off a perforated portion of a flier. My mil made it sound like she had shredded the mail. So I was really shocked when I went and looked and found that it was this small piece. I really felt like my mil was over reacting a bit. I mean I understand about the principal part of it, but really it was just a stupid flier. Anyway, I disciplined my daughter and told her that she needed to apologize to her grandma for doing that and that she shouldn't touch the mail and so on an so forth. Well, grandma was crying now and not talking because I don't know why. Anyway, she wouldn't acknowledge my daughter's efforts to apologize. I was completely stunned. Well, finally she did let her hug her, but man, I just couldn't believe that she was still so upset over something so seemingly small. My kids have problems with ripping and my mil mentioned that my daughter is starting to become like my son. I'm sure that there is some truth to that, but I am trying to keep her in check.~E

?

So tonight we were watching Cars. It's a movie that my son got for Christmas. As children often tend to do, he would run in front of the tv, into grandmas view. As hers really is the only one that's affected, really. I don't care if he runs in front of my view, but if he stood there for a while, it probably would bother me. I can't even go on.

Here's something for you to enjoy

Hurt feelings and The great misunderstanding

So, my MIL is not very assertive or informative on what she's thinking or feeling. So it's a little frustrating for me when something is going on with her emotionally, and I can't figure out what's bothering her. She helps my husband and I take care of our 3 children. Well, this evening, I took the 2 older kids and gave them a bath and left my baby in her charge. After the bath, the kids were playing mostly upstairs and then sometimes they would go downstairs. It didn't bother me much that they were going up and down because I felt that since my mil was present, there was someone keeping an eye on them. Now, I realize that there are times when my kids need constant supervision, but to me, this wasn't one of those times. MIL was reading the paper the last time I checked and so I didn't think having the kids around her would be such a HUGE deal. Well, the baby cried a couple of times. He mostly sqwaked and MIL took care of it, shusshing him and pacifying him. Well, on the last time I hollered to her that I was on my way down, and she didn't hear me, because she'd gotten up to go to the other room to make a bottle. I yelled to her again to make sure she heard and she said what do you want, I'm busy. Whoa, that totally took me off guard because I really just thought she was reading the paper. Oh by the way, by this time the kids had come back upstairs so I had them come down with me, while I got the baby. Anyway, I went to go talk to her about what was going on and she told me that the kids would wake the baby-they were playing loudly I guess, running and that sort of thing-and so understandably she was really frustrated. But here's where assertiveness and informative come in. I had NO IDEA what was happening while the kids were downstairs. Like I didn't know that they were being noisy or whatever and waking the baby. They were just being themselves. Then my daughter was being "helpful" and loaded a dish into the dishwasher where there were clean dishes. MIL yelled at her and in my opinion was a little aggessive. I had to explain to MIL that she's just 2 1/2 and only trying to help. She doesn't know if the dishes are clean or dirty. I sometimes feel like the roles are reversed around here. It feels to me that I'm more laid back about my kids; kind of like the way a grandma would be. But that Grandma is the one who gets all worked up over what they do. I don't know. I had a friend tell me once that the things that bother me about her are my issues, and I've since tried to be peaceful realizing that my friend is right and that I am the one with the problem. But if you don't verbalize/vocalize your feelings or opinions am I still the one with the problem? Later~E

I don't know

So there's this step-sister on my husbands side who has cancer. From what I've recently read in an e-mail, it's terminal and the dr's have only given her like 6 months to live. How sad. Anyway, I don't know how to feel. I mean I barely know her. We don't see each other it seems at any other time other than the holidays. And Last year we went to be with her and other family for Christmas and New Year's. While we were there, I got my feelings hurt REALLY bad. I'm over that part, but I still feel as though I were poisoned at that time, and there is no cure. I heard once that she is faking this. I don't think it's very nice to fake cancer, if that's true. She has no hair. She used to have really long reddish hair. Since undergoing chemo and radiation, she has lost all of it. I prayed for her last night. I meant it. I just feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo disconnected from this situation. I don't know. I just don't know.~E.

Not wanting to be outdone by my good friend, I'm posting again. Lately I haven't been doing much around the house, but yesterday, I vacuumed all the floors, did a little maintenance on the vacuum and a few other things. It was great. Today, I'm still trying to keep going with all my "cleaning". Yesterday, my mil trimmed the lilac bush. It looks amazing! Anyway, I think she's going to do more today. I think it's so great that she wants to and likes to do yardwork.
So the saga continues. Ok. I mentioned to my mil that she should go get one of the dressers at the farm and bring it here to her new home for her use. And she said that she couldn't take it because it belonged to grandma and it belongs to the farm. I just don't get it. Nobody is using it, and grandma is gone. My mil is afraid that she would rock the boat with her siblings, much like I did the other day. Anyway, I say that possession is nine thenths of the law and since her things are in the dresser, it's HER dresser, but she really doesn't see it that way. Please explain it to me. Anyway, I asked her what happens when all the siblings die? And she said that the last living heir will be able to have it, ok so that makes sense. I see her point. But then so the dresser stays at the farm FOREVER? It just doesn't get it. What purpose does that serve? Anyway, I know she doesn't worry about her clothes sitting on the floor, but it's just a little weird to me. Oh well. I've been told that that's my issue, not hers. So maybe I can let it go. Or not!!:)
Now I need to click on the wheelchair. I hope I can see it. Things to look for in upcoming blogs....Pictures!!! Yeah. ~E.

In the blog competition, I'm ahead

Hey~I have been doing a lot of posting, missing you very much. lets try to work out the details of you coming over.~E.