It's the principal, I understand

So tonight, while I was up on my computer, my two older kids were down with their grandma. She was watching them and taking care of the baby at the same time. When there are 2 people home, the older kids have the run of the house for the most part because there is someone there to check on them to make sure they aren't getting into anything. Well, my daughter coughed on her grandma and grandma was telling her not to cough on her, but she was being so rude about it kind of. My daughter is 2 almost 3, and yes should know better and knows to cover her mouth, but sometimes a cough just comes up and there isn't time to cover your mouth. Anyway a little bit later, my daughter comes running upstairs screaming and crying trying to get away from her grandma. I intervene and am trying to figure out what's going on and grandma is yelling/crying at the same time. She isn't really crying at this point, but she' real close. Anyway, it turns out that my daughter had ripped a piece of mail. Well, I got the mail and so I knew that what she had ripped couldn't possibly have been that important-she got an envelope from some sweepstakes thing with all kinds of fliers in it. My daughter ripped off a perforated portion of a flier. My mil made it sound like she had shredded the mail. So I was really shocked when I went and looked and found that it was this small piece. I really felt like my mil was over reacting a bit. I mean I understand about the principal part of it, but really it was just a stupid flier. Anyway, I disciplined my daughter and told her that she needed to apologize to her grandma for doing that and that she shouldn't touch the mail and so on an so forth. Well, grandma was crying now and not talking because I don't know why. Anyway, she wouldn't acknowledge my daughter's efforts to apologize. I was completely stunned. Well, finally she did let her hug her, but man, I just couldn't believe that she was still so upset over something so seemingly small. My kids have problems with ripping and my mil mentioned that my daughter is starting to become like my son. I'm sure that there is some truth to that, but I am trying to keep her in check.~E